Jim, you’re six eleven and you weigh ninety pounds, Gumby has a better body than you. Boom roasted.

Dwight, you’re a kiss-ass. Boom roasted.

Pam, you failed art school, boom roasted.

Meredith, you’ve slept with so many guys you’re starting to look like one. Boom roasted.

Kevin, I can’t decide between a fat joke or a dumb joke boom roasted.

Creed your teeth called your breath stinks. Boom roasted.

Angela, where’s Angela. Whoa there you are I didn’t see you behind that grain of rice! Boom. Roasted!

Stanley! You crush your wife during sex and your heart sucks. Boom roasted.

Oscar, you’re gay!

Andy, Cornell called, they think you suck! And you’re gayer than Oscar. Boom roasted!