Flushing Meadows-Corona Park.

Hipsters will never colonize this place, thank sweet zombie jesus.

Why?

1.) It’s in Queens. As if that isn’t enough,

2.) It’s “too far” out in Queens. 7 Express stops? Cmon! For 7 stops, kids these days would rather go to Bushwick – lots of public park space there (rollseyes).

3.) There are no shops nearby. I mean where are kiddos going to get their margaritas for lounging in the park? What are those? Plantains and cheese? Why no margaritas, or at least PBRs?

4.) I should have stopped at “It’s in Queens” – that’s plenty actually.