This place confuses me. A lot.

I honestly thought I was looking at the wrong website when I was comparing their copy to the image I took of the exterior of their Queens facility (below).

Here’s some of said copy as the caption of said image for maximum tongue-in-cheek effect:

"Empire Office delivers the perfect experience to clients, architects, and designers by providing service beyond expectations, a multidisciplinary team approach, innovative execution, and deep industry experience."

“Empire Office delivers the perfect experience to clients, architects, and designers by providing service beyond expectations, a multidisciplinary team approach, innovative execution, and deep industry experience.”

Indeed they do amazing things. Great things. I was just confused. Here’s their promotional video:

The…Perfect…Experience…

I for one have no questions about how that desk is meant to function.

Lastly here are some Street View shots of their warehouse in Queens:

Satellite view of the building ... next to a giant cemetery.

Satellite view of the building … next to a giant cemetery.

Same building as seen above. Windows anyone?

Same building as seen above. Windows anyone?

Their parking lot.

Their parking lot.

Their loading dock. The barbed wire around the edge of the building is a nice touch.

Their loading dock. The barbed wire around the edge of the building is a nice touch.

Any questions about how your chair operates?

All snark aside: LIC is still weird, Queens is still weird, and I’m thankful places like this still exist.

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